Boost Student Confidence With These 5 Self Esteem Small Group Activities
Out of all of the challenges that counselors can face with students, low self esteem is one of the hardest for me, simply because it can be so heartbreaking. It’s just so sad when a child struggles to believe in his or her worth and abilities, when you know they have so much to offer the world!
It can also be incredibly frustrating - because you see so many great things that the kids have to offer, but they just can’t seem to see it themselves. Sometimes it seems that no matter what you say or do, their inner voices remain the same.
I always think of a little friend who was in 4th grade at the time and had no confidence in her ability to complete her classwork. I knew she could do it. She had the knowledge, but day after day she would sit there insisting that she didn’t understand. It was frustrating to watch, and made me sad to see her low self esteem have such a big impact on her daily life.
Supporting students with low self esteem can be so challenging, but it can also be super rewarding to watch a student’s transformation as they start to believe in themselves.
These self esteem small group activities are the perfect way to help your students, like my sweet 4th grade friend, believe in their strengths and abilities, and learn strategies they can use when they’re feeling down about themselves.
1. Explain What Self Esteem Is
At the beginning of any small group, it’s important to talk about what the kids will be learning and why it’s important. Self esteem is no different! To begin your group, ask students to tell you what they think the term “self esteem” means and why they think it’s important. Starting off with these questions helps you to see what your students already know and clear up any misconceptions.
Once we have an idea of what self esteem is, I love to take time to encourage the students to think about all of the things they could do if they believed in themselves. A powerful question to encourage this thinking is “What would you do if you knew you wouldn’t fail?”
If you have extra time, use the video below to explain what self esteem is and why it’s important - plus, kids love to see the information coming from other kids their age! For more self-esteem videos, click here.
2. Remind Students Of What They’ve Done
Unfortunately, many kids struggle to see all that they have to be proud of and all that they’ve accomplished. Simply telling students “You’re great at math,” or “You have plenty of friends,” doesn’t always do the trick. Your positive words - while helpful - may not have the power to change deep-seated beliefs the students have about themselves.
Instead, try showing them evidence of the things you have said. Allow them to reflect on the things they have already accomplished. Directing their thoughts to the things they have already done successfully can be powerful. If you tell students they have a lot to offer, but they don’t see the proof, they won’t believe it.
Some ways to incorporate this into your small group time include having students make awards for themselves, sharing what they’ve accomplished that they’re most proud of, or creating “brag books” that kids can refer back to when they’re feeling down about themselves.
3. Go To Battle With Negative Self Talk
Our own voices are the ones we hear the most. That’s why it’s so important to make sure we’re being kind and encouraging to ourselves. Teaching positive self talk is such an important part of working with students on self esteem.
This activity is part of my NO-PREP Self Esteem Small Group for grades K-2.
First, they need to be able to identify the difference between negative and positive self talk so they can recognize it in their own thoughts. Then, it’s important to practice turning those negative thoughts into positive ones!
To do this, I love to practice with real-life examples. You can give kids examples of self talk and ask them to decide if it’s positive or negative. You can also ask students to share their own examples. If it’s a negative self talk statement, practice flipping it into a positive self talk statement instead.
Here are some examples:
“I wish my hair looked different.”
“I’ve done hard things before, so I can do this too.”
“I’m not good at soccer, but that’s okay because I’m good at other things.”
“No one likes me.”
“I won’t give up on this.”
For more positive self talk activities, click here.
4. Help students stand up for themselves
Unfortunately, we aren’t the only ones who can be unkind to ourselves. The reality is that sometimes other people are mean. Mean comments or actions can really hurt and can have a negative effect on how we view ourselves.
This activity is part of my NO-PREP Self Esteem Small Group for grades 3-5.
As easy as it can be to pretend this isn’t the case, it’s important to recognize that kids can be mean. Teaching kids to stand up for themselves is a crucial part of self esteem building.
Some of my go-to strategies to share with students are: telling the other person to stop, walking away, telling yourself something positive, talking to an adult, etc.
My favorite way to help students practice these strategies is through role playing. Giving students practice with this skill will help them to feel more comfortable when the time comes to use it. An important note though is to make sure the instructor, a puppet, etc. is role playing the part of the person being mean - not a student. We don’t want to encourage students to make mean comments, even if it’s part of an exercise.
Some role play ideas include:
Someone tells you they don’t like you.
Someone won’t let you sit next to them at lunch.
Someone laughs at you for getting an answer wrong in class.
Someone makes fun of your shoes.
Helping your students identify and practice standing up for themselves will help them to not feel so discouraged by the unkind comments and actions of others.
5. Build Self Esteem By Encouraging Kindness
Although it may not seem directly related to self esteem, one self esteem small group activity I always include is a lesson on encouraging others. I explain that this is not only a way to boost the self esteem of others, but being kind to others can also help us feel good about who we are.
For this session, we talk about why it’s important to be kind to others and brainstorm ways we can help others feel good about who they are. The kids are usually good at coming up with many ways to do this, so I always ask them to commit to doing 1-2 things from the list. Helping students realize they have the power to affect how others feel about themselves is a great way to close out your small group!
When you include these activities in your self esteem small group, you will give your students the tools and skills they need to finally believe that the great things they’ve heard about themselves are true.
If you’re running a self esteem small group but still feel overwhelmed, or just don’t have time to plan, grab one of my 6 session, no-prep self esteem small groups that I’ve already created for you! There’s a curriculum for grades K-2, and one for grades 3-5. They each have 6 no-prep lessons that cover the topics from above, as well as 2 bonus activities and a self-assessment for data collection. These small group plans will make sure your students are receiving quality instruction without sacrificing any planning time.
