How School Counselors Can Connect With Students Virtually
The switch to virtual learning for many districts has left counselors and educators asking an important question: How can we connect with students virtually? Building strong relationships with students is an integral part of counseling. In normal circumstances, counselors often rely on hugs, impromptu office visits from kids, and hallway run-ins, as easy ways to build student relationships. During virtual learning, this isn’t possible. So, what do we do?
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How do we make sure kids know they are valued and important when we are only seeing them through a camera, if that? Here are some of my favorite relationship building strategies that can be used virtually.
1- Begin Your Lessons With Highs & Lows
Starting lessons or small groups with highs and lows is a great relationship building strategy for counselors. Because we usually don’t see students every day (especially when virtual), checking in like this can be a great way to touch base and get to know your students. The way this works is that you start off the lesson by inviting each student to share a highlight from the past day/week and then something that wasn’t good. The students can decide how much or how little to share.
To make this activity even more fun, you can refer to it as a fun name. Some call it peach (high) and pit (low), rose (high) and thorn (low), or my personal favorite - happy-crappy.
This is a great strategy because it allows students to share about themselves on their own terms. It then allows other students and the educator to get a glimpse into the student’s life.
2- Incorporate Their Interests Into Your Counseling Work
This is obviously something that can be done for in-person counseling lessons, but don’t forget that it can be done virtually too. Showing students that you care about what they are into is a great way to build relationships. I have grown so much in my basketball knowledge over the years because the students I have worked with love it. When I could come to them and use examples from last night’s game to talk about anger management, the lesson was so much more meaningful.
Here are a few more examples of how this could look. If your students love basketball, do a read aloud of Salt in His Shoes by Deloris and Roslyn Jordan or Long Shot by Chris Paul to talk about growth mindset. If your students like watching YouTube videos, challenge them to find 3 videos that have a positive message. Do your students love animals? Talk about how special it is that each animal is different, and then transfer that into a discussion about self-esteem.
These two books are perfect for talking about perseverance and growth mindset while incorporating sports!
3- Listen To What The Students Share
We all know that truly listening to what others say is invaluable. But, that doesn’t make it easy. This can be especially true when we are trying to support multiple students at once, make it through whatever is on the lesson plan, and sort out any technical issues. However, taking the time to really listen to what students share can be a great way to build those relationships.
For some of our students, school is the only time when they are heard. Maybe they have inconsistent adult support in their lives, or their families are working hard to make ends meet. Taking time to listen to what they are saying not only tells us more about who they are and what they like, but can also help them feel valued.
4- Touch Base With Students Between Lessons
One of my favorite things I did when working with students in school was walking through the halls in the morning. Getting to see students as they shuffle in and greet them with a smile was always a highlight of my day. It also gave me an easy chance to follow up with them about their interests or previous conversations. For example, I might ask them if they watched the game last night, or how their recital went. They might tell me that they got to have dinner at Chipotle and we could both bond over our love for deliciously huge burritos.
Unfortunately, relationship building opportunities like this don’t come as easily when you are working with students virtually. But, that doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Although we can’t stop and say hi to kids in the hallway, there are other ways to touch base between lessons.
Call parents to check on how games/events/etc. went.
E-mail or post articles, recipes, videos, book recommendations, etc. that you think the students might like
Send out a Google Form between lessons asking kids to tell you about their favorite thing that they’ve done recently.
Send letters or post cards talking about your shared interests
5- Have fun!
Virtual learning doesn’t have to be boring! Being silly and goofy together is a great way to build and strengthen relationships. Playing games like charades, “would you rather”, or even having a scavenger hunt are great ways to add fun to your lessons. You can also have challenges, dress-up days, show and tell or even dance parties.
This is a stressful time for everyone, kids included. So making the effort to add some extra fun to your lessons will go a long way. If you want some fun games to play during your virtual lessons but aren’t sure where to start, you can grab these 30 SEL games that can be used for virtual lessons or face to face!
If I know anything about counselors, I know they are some of the most caring and creative people I have ever met. Although online lessons are certainly challenging, I know you will make the best of it! I hope these tips for how school counselors can connect with students virtually helps you and your students to feel supported.
