You hear the words “I’m being bullied!” and immediately go into investigation mode. You know the serious implications of bullying, and want to make sure all students at your school are safe and respected. However, after looking into the situation, you see that instead of a true bullying incident, this situation is simply a conflict between two peers. On the other hand, you know that there may be kids at your school who are experiencing bullying, but don’t realize that it’s as serious as it is. Unfortunately, this is the norm for many educators.

So, what do you do? How do you help kids know what bullying is and what it isn’t? Below, you’ll find ideas for helping kids better understand this concept so that we can better support students who are experiencing it.

Why kids need to know what bullying is

Helping kids understand what bullying is is a key step of bullying prevention. If kids don’t have a clear definition of bullying, there is a risk that incidents may be overreported or underreported, with each having their own dangers.

If kids can’t recognize bullying, they may not realize that they are experiencing it. They may think that someone is simply being mean, or that the situation isn’t as serious as it actually is. This can lead to students dealing with bullying on their own, without the support of adults, and can make it harder for bystanders to report what they see.

On the other hand, without a clear understanding of what bullying is, kids may think that any mean act is bullying. Of course, this isn’t true. Yet, educators and other professionals rightfully feel the need to investigate each of these claims. This can take up valuable time and can make it hard for educators to get to the other tasks that need completed. Plus, if “bullying” is continuously falsely reported, the adults - and kids - may stop taking claims seriously, which can be dangerous to kids who are truly experiencing it.

How To teach kids what bullying is

Teaching kids to identify bullying includes more than just giving a definition. That is part of it, but it can also be helpful to teach kids about what bullying isn’t, as well as the different types of bullying. Then, giving kids ways to practice identifying bullying will help them continue to build this skill and become more comfortable with it.

give a clear definition of bullying

Part of helping kids understand what bullying is and what it isn’t includes providing a clear definition. When doing this, it’s important to note that the definition of bullying depends on the state you’re in. Find this information for your state by using the interactive map on Stopbullying.gov. In many states, bullying is described as intentional, repeated, and one-sided behavior that causes harm to the other person/party.

One acronym that you can use to help kids understand this is STOMP: Several times, one-sided, mean, and purposeful.

Another key component of teaching about the definition of bullying is defining other incidences that are not bullying. Here are some examples of unkind behavior that is not bullying:

Conflict is not bullying because it involves both people/parties - it’s not one-sided.
A mean moment is not bullying because it occurs only once. *Please note that some states do define a one-time act as bullying, depending on the severity of the incident.
Joking that isn’t intended to cause harm is also not bullying, even if it does in fact hurt someone’s feelings.

Explain The Types Of Bullying

Once kids know what is meant by the term “bullying,” it’s helpful to talk about the different types of bullying. In the media, bullying is often depicted as physical only. Because of this, many kids may not realize that bullying can take other forms like verbal, emotional, and cyberbullying. This video from Youthful Minds is a great way to help kids better understand the different types of bullying. You can also help kids learn more about what the different types of bullying look like in real life by using this Google Slides game.

Here are some “kid-friendly” ways to define the types of bullying:

Physical bullying is harming someone or someone’s things in a physical way such as: shoving, hitting, kicking, tripping, or ruining someone’s things.
Verbal bullying is harming someone with spoken or written words such as name-calling, making threats, making rude or inappropriate comments, or writing hurtful comments.
Emotional bullying (also referred to as social bullying) is harming someone by trying to damage their reputation or relationships such as ignoring or excluding someone, spreading rumors, embarrassing the person, or manipulating/controlling the person.
Cyberbullying is harming someone using technology such as text messages, social media, etc. Examples include: posting inappropriate photos, sending mean or threatening messages, or making a fake account.

Is It Bullying Google Slides Game — *Check out this* *Google Slides game!*

help kids practice identifying bullying

Giving kids information about what the word “bullying” means, and the different types of bullying, is an important part of helping them understand what bullying is. Once you’ve done that, though, it’s important to give kids the chance to practice their new skill of correctly identifying bullying. It’s good for kids to know the information, but of course it’s most helpful when they can apply it to the world around them.

One of the best way to do this is by giving kids scenarios to look at and having them decide whether or not it’s an example of bullying. You can come up with the scenarios on your own, ask the kids to come up with them, or use these.

Doing this can help kids become more confident in their ability to decide whether or not something is a true case of bullying.

Helping kids understand what bullying is and isn’t, is an important part of bullying prevention at your school. Giving kids a clear definition, teaching about the types of bullying, and having them practice identifying bullying will make it easier for kids to recognize bullying when it happens.