How To Teach Kids About Personal Space: Ideas And Activities For Students
“Scoot over.” “Put that down, please.” “Get your hands out of his mouth.” These are just some of the phrases counselors and other educators find themselves saying over and over. If you work with kids in any capacity, you know that personal space can be a struggle.
The idea of personal space is tricky for most kids, but can be especially hard for some. In many cases, lack of personal space can be a result of low self-control, which is an executive functioning skill. Like any skill, respecting personal space naturally comes easier to some kids than it does to others. Some kids just need extra support and instruction as they work to develop this skill.
Below, you’ll find activities and ideas to help you teach kids about how they can respect the personal space of others. These will help kids learn about what’s expected, why personal space is important, and how they can become more self-aware. Plus, I will give you some ideas for using visual boundaries and replacement behaviors to support students.
Teach what’s expected
As adults, it’s really easy to assume that kids know what’s expected of them - it feels like common sense. However, we need to remember that kids may not know what they are supposed to do unless we tell them. This also applies for personal space - we have to be clear about what personal space is and what it looks like in real life.
Define Personal Space
The term “personal space” is common, but it’s important to teach kids what exactly it is. Use the following explanations to help your students get a better idea of what personal space is:
This “Respecting Personal Space” cut and paste activity can be found here.
Personal space is the amount of space someone needs around them to be comfortable.
Different people feel comfortable with different amounts of personal space.
It’s important not to get into someone else’s personal space, and to politely let others know when you aren’t comfortable with how close they are to you.
The amount of space someone needs might depend on your relationship to them, and the situation you are in.
Demonstrate Personal Space
Personal space is an abstract concept and can be hard for kids to visualize. Help kids better understand it by showing them what it actually looks like to respect someone’s personal space.
You can role play different situations with stuffed animals or puppets or look for examples of personal space in books or videos. It can also be helpful to talk about different situations kids might be in - like walking in a line, sitting on the carpet, or playing at recess. For each setting, ask students to model what they think it looks like to stay in their own space.
Talk About Why Personal Space Matters
These self-control activities can be used with or without the book Clark The Shark by Bruce Hale.
Different people require different amounts of personal space. This can be tricky for kids - especially those who enjoy being close to others. They may have a hard time understanding why it’s important to respect someone else’s personal space.
This is a great opportunity to teach kids about empathy and the importance of respecting the feelings of others through giving them personal space. A helpful resource for this lesson is the book Clark The Shark by Bruce Hale. In the story, Clark the Shark has a hard time controlling himself and it makes other people frustrated. He wants to make good choices, but can’t remember to use self control. Clark’s teacher steps in and tells him to come up with rhymes so he can remember to use self-control. The story is so relatable to our students who mean well, but just really struggle to stay in their own personal space.
While reading the story, you can talk about how Clark’s friends feel when he is in their personal space. Then, you can ask the students if they have experienced any situations like this. When you get to the end of the story, ask your students how Clark’s friends feel when he begins to stay in his own space. After you read the book, you can help kids create their own self-control rhymes, or use these pre-made activities.
Help Kids Become Self-Aware
A key component to teaching kids to respect personal space is to help them become aware of times when they are too close to someone. This awareness makes it easier for kids to manage this behavior and make sure that the people around them are comfortable.
Practice Identifying Facial Expressions and Body Language
Looking at someone’s facial expressions and body language can help us know whether or not we are too close to someone. For some kids, being able to read these non-verbal cues may take some training and practice. Try talking about, and modeling, different ways that someone could be showing that their personal space is being violated.
Explain that if you are too close to someone, they may:
Scoot away or step back
Look away
Move your hands or things out of their space
Once kids have a clear understanding of how they can tell when they are too close, try role playing with them. Demonstrate some of those non-verbal cues and see if the child can respond appropriately.
Continue To Remind Kids Of The Expectations
Often, kids don’t invade personal space on purpose - it is simply a lapse in self-control. One way to help students remember to stay in their own space is to provide consistent reminders.
This can be especially helpful when the personal space expectations change. For example, if kids were at recess and then come into the classroom and are expected to sit in their space on the carpet, they may benefit from a refresher on what it looks like to stay in their own space. The more that we talk about personal space with kids, the more likely they will be to think about it and work on it.
Play Body Awareness Games Or Exercises
Some children are just not aware of where their bodies are. They may not have a clear idea of how much space they take up, and whether or not their body parts are in someone else’s space. Thankfully, there are some fun and playful ways to teach kids about body awareness and personal space.
The Sticker Game: Try giving the child a sticker and then asking them to close their eyes. Once their eyes are closed, ask them to place the sticker on a specific body part such as their toe, elbow, ear, etc.
Body Tracing: Humans take up a lot more space than we may realize! To help your students better visualize this, have them lay or sit on the floor while you trace their bodies on a piece of bulletin board paper. Then, cut out their outline and allow them to decorate it if desired. Talk about whether the outline is bigger or smaller than the student thought it would be.
Twister: This classic game can be HARD! Not only because it requires some flexibility, but it also demands that players be aware of where they - and the other players- are on the board. It also takes some visual planning as kids try to move a body part to a new space.
If you work with an occupational therapist or physical therapist, it may also be helpful to collaborate with them about ways that you can help students increase their body awareness.
Provide Visual Reminders Of Personal Space
Personal space can be hard for kids because there aren’t always clear boundaries. It’s a pretty abstract idea that can be hard for kids (especially young ones!) to be aware of. This can be especially difficult when students are in situations where they are not sitting at desks or chairs. Sitting on the floor or walking/standing in line can be challenging for kids because of the lack of clear boundaries. As kids build the skill of self-control, you can gradually take away these physical boundaries, but they are a great strategy to use as you begin to teach kids about self-control.
Examples Of Visual Boundaries:
A chair: If students are struggling to stay in their own space while sitting on the floor or on a bench, try offering a regular chair. When students are in chairs, they have their own clearly defined space, which makes it easier for them to stay out of the space of others.
Sit Spot or carpet square: Another option for helping students stay in their space while they are sitting on the floor is to provide something that the student can sit on. This can be a carpet square, a sit spot, or even a piece of paper.
Tape: If students are working at a table, and are struggling to keep themselves (and their materials) in their own space, try using painter’s tape to divide the table into clear sections.
Something for kids to hold in line: Walking in a line can be especially difficult for kids because they are moving, but need to do so in a controlled way. They may find themselves getting too close to the person in front of them, or wanting to stray from the line and explore. A great tool, especially for younger students, is to have something that the students can hold on to. This can be a jump rope, a long piece of twine, or a walking rope that’s more specifically designed for this purpose.
An important thing to remember when implementing these tools is that they don’t have to be forever. Try using them for a while and then gradually remove them as the student grows their self-control skills and is able to stay in their space without the visual boundaries.
Use Replacement Behaviors To Create New Habits
An important part of helping kids change their behavior is to identify new behaviors that can replace the old ones. When teaching kids about personal space, it can be helpful to give them ideas of things they can do when they notice that they are too close, or to keep them from getting too close to someone in the first place. The replacement behaviors will depend on what the initial behaviors are and should be specific and simple.
Here are some examples of replacement behaviors for personal space:
If a student struggles to sit still on the carpet, help them develop the habit of sitting “criss cross applesauce.”
If a student struggles to keep their hands to themselves in the hallway, they can walk with their hands in their pockets or hold a fidget tool.
If a student gives hugs without permission, practice and develop the habit of asking first.
Remember, creating new habits take work and time. Make sure that the student, and the adults in the student’s life, understand that they may not see progress immediately. However, through consistent reminders and support, kids are able to develop new skills and habits.
Like any other behavior, it’s important to include the student when working on personal space. Ask them what they think will help them - you may be surprised at their good ideas! Make sure you clearly explain the plan, and any supports they will be receiving, to assure the student that you are working as a team and want what’s best for them.
Personal space is a challenge for many kids, but it is a skill that can be developed and strengthened over time! These ideas and activities for teaching kids about personal space will help them learn to be aware of their own bodies, and be more mindful of the space around them.
