6 Types Of Coping Skills To Help Kids Feel Calm
I’m a big fan of making sure I’m prepared for any situation. Take one look in my purse and you’ll see. Right now, there is a pair of scissors, a bingo dauber, some snacks, a whole pack of pens, and playing cards. Plus, the necessities like chapstick, my wallet and an extra can of Diet Coke.
Although a huge purse makes my arm tired, it helps me feel prepared for any situation. It’s like a toolbox… except it’s a purse filled with seemingly random things.
Having multiple options at hand is a great way to ensure that I can face any situation that comes my way. The same is true for coping skills. The more options we have, and the more types of coping skills we teach our students, the more prepared they will be when they need to use them.
Teaching about different types of coping skills can give students the tools they need to feel calm and focused no matter what the situation. For example, if a student gets upset on the bus, doing yoga might not be a possibility. But, if students have multiple options in their coping skills tool boxes, they will be able to find at least one to help in that situation.
These 6 types of coping skills will help students have strategies they can use to feel more calm no matter where they are, what they are feeling or why they are feeling that way.
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Coping Skill Type #1: Deep Breathing
Has anyone ever told you to take a deep breath when you are feeling upset? It’s a common phrase, but it’s also backed in science. Doing deep breathing exercises when you are facing strong emotions can slow your heart rate and trigger your parasympathetic nervous system, leading you to feel more relaxed and better able to think clearly.
These free mindful breathing posters can be found in my Free Resource Library!
Teaching students to use deep breathing as a coping skill is a powerful way to help them manage their emotions. Another great thing about this strategy is that kids can use it anywhere, in any situation.
Here are some deep breathing strategies to teach your students:
4-7-8 Breathing
Inhale for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, exhale for 8 seconds
Flower & Candle
Pretend that you are smelling a flower and blowing out a candle
Breathing While Tracing
Grab a visual of a square, a star, or something else that helps students breathe as they trace their finger on the page
Coping Skill Type #2: Positive Self-Talk
Our own voices are the ones we hear most often. We can send negative messages to ourselves, but we can also send ourselves positive thoughts and reminders! Positive self-talk is a powerful coping skill. When students face difficult emotions like anger, sadness and worry, we can help them to replace their negative messages with positive ones.
For example, after a student is upset because she isn’t allowed to do something, she may tell herself “This is so dumb. I’m going to do it anyway.” Instead, we can help her to change that thought to “I need to calm down and not do anything I will regret.”
The messages we send ourselves truly are powerful and can be the difference between acting out in anger or feeling calm and encouraged.
Thankfully, there are many ways that counselors and other educators can work on positive self-talk with students. Check out this blog post for ideas.
Coping Skill Type #3: Expressive Coping Skills
Students, and people in general, cope with feelings in different ways. There are some kids who explode the minute they are faced with something that makes them upset. Then, there are students who don’t explode, but instead internalize their feelings or try to hide them. Although this isn’t overtly seen as a problem, it’s equally concerning.
This activity from my coping skills centers helps students identify who they can talk to about their feelings.
This “bottling up” of feelings can continue to build, leading to a huge outburst later, and/or can keep kids from getting the help that they need. This is why it’s important to teach kids about expressive coping skills - which include writing or talking about how they feel, or even creating something to show how they feel.
Here are some simple and practical ways to encourage this type of coping skill:
Doing a daily or weekly check-in to gauge how students feel (this can be done verbally or through a writing/drawing exercise)
Encouraging students to think of multiple people that they can talk to about their feelings
Providing journal prompts to help students process their feelings
Talking about feelings as a regular part of your counseling or teaching routine. This will help students build the habit and become more comfortable with it
Coping Skill Type #4: Distraction
One way that I can tell I’m starting to feel upset about something is if it is just all I can think about. I know this is the same for kids too. There have been so many times where I have tried to move on or change the subject with students, but they just can’t move past whatever is making them upset. This can be a problem sometimes because the more and more we think about a problem, the more and more upset we can become.
This is why distraction can be a great coping strategy. This type of coping skill gives our brains a break from obsessing over the issue, which give us time to calm down.
What serves as a good distraction will vary from student to student, but some great strategies include:
Choosing something else to do
Going to another space
Trying to say your alphabet backwards
Doing something like this will give students the time they need to calm down and be better able to think clearly and make positive choices.
Coping Skill Type #5: Physical Coping Skills
This poster can be found in my Free Resource Library!
Have you ever had a student come to you after a physical altercation and say that they just wanted to punch something? I’ve had this happen quite a few times, and I’ve found that when many students feel angry, they need to get that energy out physically. Telling them to take deep breaths just doesn’t always work.
Physical coping skills allow students to let their feelings out in a physical way that is still safe. Teaching students this type of coping skill is a great way to support students who turn to aggression or violence when they feel upset.
Some physical coping skills that have worked for students of mine include:
Yoga
Ripping paper into a trash can
Pushing against a wall
Squeezing play-doh or a stress ball
Interested in more information? Click here to learn more about what physical coping skills are, and how they can help students!
Coping Skill Type #6: Exercise
Exercise is another type of coping skill that can help us and our students relieve stress and feel more calm. It has been proven to improve mood, and decrease stress by increasing the production of endorphins. Encouraging kids to get moving not only has great physical benefits, but can be a great coping strategy for feelings of stress, anger and more.
Thankfully, there are some ways to encourage physical activity throughout the school day. Examples include:
Yoga (Like these Cosmic Kids Yoga videos!)
Taking a short walk
Flexible seating such as balance balls, standing desks, etc.
Plus, there are tons of strategies kids can use outside of school like playing sports, stretching, or even playing outside, doing things like jump rope and hopscotch.
There are many types of coping skills that kids can add to their toolboxes to help them feel calm and focused no matter the situation. Remember that coping skills aren’t one-size-fits-all, and the more options students have, the more likely they are to use them. Thankfully, coping skills aren’t as heavy to carry as all the things in my purse!
